clinic

semalam kan..entry aku emotional je kan. aku ni dah lah badan tak berapa nak sihat kan.. senggugut aku teruk la sikit. and bila people make fun of it, of course la rasa tak best kan. plus bila sakit tu bercampur campur dengan segala toknenek sakit yang ada.. so tahap emotional tu memang berganda ganda sket la.

tadi aku pergi clinic. jumpa Doc.. aku pun ada blog pasal lumpectomies aku dulu kan. and that the ketulan tu ada balik. so tadi p jumpa Doc.. sebelum ni buat tak tau je sebab tak sakit. tadi tengah drive tetibe sakit. sengkak dada and berpeluh peluh. so tadi she scanned and said benda tu nothing dangerous pun. fibroid adenoma and its quite common. 

biasanya jadi balik even after dah get rid of it ni biasanya disebabkan masalah hormon from ovary yang terlebih sensitif. takde cara nak stop fibroid ni. and takde cara untuk regulate hormon balik. and she said jugak, sepatutnya fibroid adenoma tak menyakitkan.. tapi aku rasa sakit. and she said again maybe sebab i think about it too much. that was not true for i was trying not to get that into my head too much. 

and that fibroid is huge. 2.8 cm.

and also, i did talk to her pasal apa yang aku rasa lately. about how i suddenly felt like not wanting to talk to anybody..aku cakap dengan unresponsive things macam ikan, cats and water and how i found that so relieving..about me crying out of nowhere, no reasons.. and she suggested me to meet a psychiatrist.. bukan untuk dapatkan ubat..tapi sesi kaunseling..

suddenly rasa macam i'm a bit closer to being crazy.

i dont want to go through the depression state one more time.

nothing fancy about it.

i just dont want.